Home Forums General Discussions Open Topic The Malcom Report 1/20. Or: my fucked up social life

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    I’ve touched on this elsewhere (for a primer, see the Malcom Report 1/18) But another twist has been added to my newly found social life.

    Last Saturday, this girl (to remain unnamed for practical purpose) invited me over to her apartment to watch some movies. Prior to this evening, I wasn’t even sure if she liked me as a guy, but we ended up smooching halfway through American Graffiti (quite a romantic flick, eh? <img> ) Needless to say I still don’t know what the plotline to that film is. But anyway, we ended up fooling around that night. I really feel terrible about this because I don’t feel like being in a steady relationship with her, and she was very careful to let me know she normally wasn’t like this. So the big question is, how do you break off with somebody who is obviously stuck on you, after you’v been pretty intimite with them? I don’t want her to think i’m a "fuck and run" type guy (although we didn’t actually have sex). What would J. Mascis do?

    Oh, and how do you get the taste of someone out of your mouth? I must’ve brushed my teeth six times today.



    </font><blockquote><font>quote:</font><hr><font>Originally posted by EvIl MaLCoM HaS nOthINg CuTe TO SaY:
    <strong> What would J. Mascis do?

    </strong></font><hr></blockquote><font>Something tells me J. Masics doesn’t have alot of women throw themself at him so I don’t know if that’d help you.

    Prolly write a song.



    Actually, Jaron, this is a VERY isolated incident in my life. I’m probably the only 19 year old who’s never had a girlfriend (okay, there was that one girl, but that was in first grade!). And if J hasn’t had very many girlfriends, how does he make so many albums about fucking up relationships?

    This is really digging at me because there’s another girl I want (see: art thread). BUT I don’t know if she wants me, so it’s a choice between a sure bet and a big risk, with appropriate prizes (for lack of a much better term)



    No clue what J would do. In the old days, he probably would have worked hard to avoid the girl and any possible confrontation.

    My advice would be don’t accept any more invites from her. If you really feel bad, tell her so and explain you aren’t interested in a relationship and knowing the nice kinda girl she is, you’d rather be up front about it. She might feel low about it at first, but will think better of you in the long run (and maybe even tell other girls what a nice guy you are).



    Very strange,
    I was on another board and I saw almost the same problem but written from a girls perspective. <img> If this realy is a waco coincidence the problem is solved.

    BTW: That taste can linger on a while, try cheep red wine…I might make you feel better too <img> <img> .

    If I were you I would confront her with your feelings (or lac of feelings), that you liked the kissing and stuff a lot, but that you don’t have airplanes in your stumach for her and you don’t want to lose her as a friend. You didnt make love yet so there is time to withdraw without much harm done. Good luck and I hope to read the final conclusions right on freakscene!



    Everyone here is too dagnamed nice. Better to regret something you have done rather than not. Believe me, 19 is a perfectly acceptable age to play around, and find out what you want. Again, better to make mistakes at 19, than end up living with someone for years and wonder how to get out of that (sleeping with sisters and mums is the most direct route). It’s nice to have a conscience though Malky, but don’t sweat it too bad – just tell her that you ain’t up for anything too serious, and obviously don’t go round again, especially after you’ve been boozin. Alternatively:

    1. tell her you’re gay.
    2. tell her you are a mentalist, and have a "fake" episode in front of her.
    3. go round wearing dirty pants (underwear, not trousers). Chicks don’t dig that kinda stuff (in my experience – from what people have told me, not through wearing dirty pants myself).
    4. sleep with her mum and sister.
    5. introduce her to your cuter, more fiscally sound elder brother.
    6. wet yourself in front of her.

    Hope these helped – I have used all (except for number 3) to great advantage in the past.

    Best wishes.


    buckingham rabbit

    just blow her off. that’s what girls do anyway, right?



    Mattman, I am astounded how such a friendly guy can give such sagelike advice. But to tell the truth, I wasn’t planning on calling her back, but she called me back (I had some textbooks to sell, pretext?) But I’m pretty sure, I will lay low for a while here and think it out. It seems like I was caught in the moment.

    Javro, tried the advice, that Bitch stole my mad masturbation powers! <img>



    Everybody is trying to give him all good advices…read his profile!!

    His interests are "sex" and "flaming lips" so what the fuck are we talking about <img> <img>



    Sounds like its been a pretty weird week, your dad setting you up and then having some fun…well I hope it was fun…with someone your not really interested in.

    I kinda think Mattman covered all the bases on reviewing the situation b4 doing anything rash like running away or sleeping with the mom/sis deal(javro you should write a book about that <img> <img> )
    I think the we got carried away lets just see what happens/not sure I want to go with this deal sounds like the honest/fair thing to do. Own up and move on, staying with her to save face is a waste of time for both of you. Although the hypnosis thing is definitely an option that isn’t used often enuf;)

    What I really want to say is just play safe…don’t want to regret something emotionally and physically <img> <img> <img>




    Hey Malcom,

    I agree with Allison.

    I’ve been led on by guys before = no fun. I absolutely cannot just hook up with random strangers and then let it go. Maybe people with self-esteem issues can do it, or drunk people; maybe I’m just too sensitive.

    But it would be childish and hurtful to just avoid her, and leave her hanging. Be a man and tell her you’re not interested. She can stop wondering, and you can stop concocting elaborate schemes to avoid the situation.

    Also, garlic should burn the taste out of your mouth <img>




    What Would Mattman Do? (WWMD?) <img> <img>

    Your best option is hypnosis… She can’t get mad at you if she doesn’t even remember who you are. <img> <img>

    The best formula, I’ve found, is 3/4 charm and 1/4 mind control. If she’s super tough, you might need to step up the mind control to 3/8, but NEVER EXCEDE 1/2!!! Too much mind control turns its victims into mindless automatons, and increases the zombie population (intellectual zombies, for those keeping track of the zombie type.) <img>

    Seriously though, are you absolutly sure you’re not interested in her? Seems to me that you were at one point, if only briefly. It may be a good idea to go over the whole situation in your head, and make sure you’re really not interested, and not just having some kind of relationship jitters…

    My advice, if this is the case, is to tell her that you want to keep things on a slow note, for now at least. Tell her that things got a little carried away the other night (sounds like that’s what happened anyway.) Then, if you’re still not interested in her, you can break it off knowing that you gave her a chance…

    Of course, if you’re absolutely sure that you’re not interested now, I’m gonna go with dfkgurl here and say that your best bet is to just own up to it, and let her know that you’re not into having a relationship. She’ll be upset, she may drag you though the mud, but hey, you got yourself into this situation…



    1) I don’t drink, atall

    lessie hear know, Sleep with her mom is DEFINATELY her dad is a farmer, If she found out, he would find out and then he would SHOOT me, definately not. She knows I’m not gay, Both of my brothers are married and not atall fiscally sound.
    hmm, so far we have three for confrontation, one for running off, and two for self urination <img>



    Pissing is the English way. That’s why US girls don’t date us, which is why the film Notting Hill (did you get that in the States?) was so unbelievable. Julia Roberts would have taken one look at Hugh Grant, in his dirty pants, soaking wet, and mad as a fish, not to mention gay as a window, and run off with his richer older brother. I should be a continuity guy in the movies – an English advisor if you will….



    Also, you were asking what J would do. I asked him for you and he had the following to say…

    "I got no advice about anything, just fuck it up yourself".

    Hope that helps.

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