Home Forums General Discussions Open Topic Malcom Report: September 10, 2002: "Everything Hits at

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  • #45146

    malcom
    Participant

    This one is going to be short, I’m supposed to keep the phone lines open. You see: My Grandma is going to die within a week. She was sent to the hospital yesterday after suffering another stroke, and is now undergoing congestive heart failure and apparently has fluid in her lungs.(AGAP’s a nurse right? I’ll leave the medical stuff up to her) She is still thinking, but as of today has lost her ability to talk. My mom says she can still recognize people. I’ll be visiting Friday.

    I have some mixed feelings about all of this. I feel saddened, but mostly I feel bad that I feel bad. I’ve never been that close to my Grandma. She suffered her first stroke when I was maybe five. and has had a total of three or four major strokes altogether. For as long as I can remember she’s been confined to a wheelchair, with only one working arm. So I’m not one of those kids who’s grandparents baked cookies and played games with them. both of my dads parents were dead by the time he was eighteen. And my grandfather on my mom’s side was dead by the time I was ten. I’m getting verklept. . .talk amongst yourselves. . .

    #71726

    AGAP
    Participant

    Hey Malcom,

    Sorry to hear about your g’mom <img> Even if you weren’t close to her it will have an effect on you thru your parents so take care.

    Hmmm, I don’t remember telling you what I do but you’re close… <img> Here’s some info on chf Hopefully she remains able to recognize people, not sure I would wait until friday though.

    Allison

    <small>[ 09-10-2002, 09:35 PM: Message edited by: Valentine Frankenstein ]</small>

    #71727

    Halfman
    Participant

    Malc,
    Sorry to hear about your grandmom. Never had a live grandmother by blood since I have been around. Didi have a lady who raised my mom,as her own mother died at age 11. My mother’s father died when I was about 13 or so from brain cancer brought on by years od drink. Never knew who my dad was, and still don’t.

    Far as the woman who raised my mother, she was sweet and treated me like her own blood kiddie. Sadly she died from lung cancer while I was about 10. My mother is also dying of a terminal disease as we speak. That just leaves my brother who would rather party than come to grips with himself and be brotherly.

    Can’t say I have a lot of advice to give and there has not really been a whole lot to say about true comfort for the dying or those who see loved ones wither away. Perhaps you can just bond more with the family at hand as some sort of proximal tribute to the wonderfulness that is the life of your grandmother. Gratitude may be hard to reach for the family tree that is distended, at least in my case, but I am glad to say I did have some kind of relatives to speak of, however infuriating. I may write some more later. Feel free to write me privately, Malc is you just need someone impartial to vent with

    [email protected]

    #71728

    SG
    Participant

    Malc-sorry to hear that,as VF said I hope she knows it`s you on Friday.

    #71729

    malcom
    Participant

    I’m beginning to doubt that she’ll be aware on Fri. Her breathing apparently became labored last night. I ‘avent heard from me mum since this morning, so I haven’t had a status report since then.

    Life’s a pile of shit, when you look at it. <img>

    #71730

    malcom
    Participant

    Going to visit tommorow, ‘ere goes nothing.

    #71731

    malcom
    Participant

    I don’t. I visited her yesterday, as planned.

    There is nothing there. Really. By just about any standerd my Grandmother is no more. Imagine lying in bed, able to hear, barly able to see, dependant upon leval six oxygen (virtually pure) and an Iv to keep you alive. This isn’t life. I’m not even certain she can see or hear anything. My Mum say she can recognize my presence, but I’m not certain.

    What’s actually killing her is pneumonia and dehydration. Such mundane killers. When you hear about things like congestive heart failure you don’t think that a person in a coma is incapable of eating or drinking. Since a feeding tube would or medication (and an IV would only add to the fluid in her lungs) would only add a few days, my mum and auntie have put her on hospice.

    Life sucks sometimes.

    #71732

    AGAP
    Participant

    Really sorry to hear how things are going for you & your family Malcom, a hospice sounds like a really good place to be right now for your g’mom. Hope they can keep her as comfortable as possible, the staff are usually well trained, compassionate and treat people with the respect and dignity they deserve at such a horrible time. Life really does suck sometimes!

    Have been thru similar situations, personally & professionally, no words can really describe the pain, helplessness and sorrow… <img> If you need anything please let me know if I can help in any way.

    All my best to you & your family

    Allison

    #71733

    malcom
    Participant

    Sunday at 6:00 AM it officially ended.

    It’s for the best, it really is. She had lost use of her legs, one arm, and all but two fingers, and about half of her face via various strokes. A CAT scan a few years back revealed that she had approx. half of her brain functioning. In a sense she was half living for a long time. I feel bad for me mum and aunts, they’re the one’s who have to live with this.

    But life must go on.

    #71734

    fata morgana
    Participant

    Dear Malcom,

    I am sorry to hear about your Grandmother. My grandmother also suffered a thrombosis which kept her paralized, much in the same way as your grandmother is now, for almost forty years. This is not to say that she did not have a good life, she lived as best she could. I am sorry for your loss. But maybe now, she will watch over you.

    priss

    anne

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