Here… I reworte the FAQ

[everyonelovesjaron]

Answers Frequently Questioned… 733+ edition…

Section A – General

1. Do I have to register.

No, dumbshit, the magical BBS will magically know what your user name is.

2. How can I use smilies?

If you know what a smilie is, odds are that you know how to sue them.

3. Can I use HTML in my messages?

I don’t know can you?

4. What are moderators?

Moderators, much like admins, are people whose soul prupose is to answer your questions. They are here 24 hours a day. If you have a question about anything, email and PM them every 12 seconds until they answer. If uneffective, use a phone book to get their phone number and address and call and write them constantly. If you are persistant enough, J. Mascis himself will write a song for you.

5. How can I change my registration profile?

Who the heck cares about a registration profile?

6. Are cookies used?

They are delicious… there is no debate about that.

7. How can I clear all cookies set by this board?

A program called "Cookie Monster" maybe of help. For more information, go to http://www.sesamestreet.com

8. Can I edit my own posts?

Some of us are so goddamned 733+ that we never make misstakes.

9. Can I attach files?

We’ll ban you ass, but go ahead.

10. Can I search?

No apeshit, that search feature towards the top of the page is just for shits and giggles.

11. What are member ratings?

Well, that 1 star below your name means we hate you.

12. What are private messages?

PMs are the number one way people bitch at the mods about things entirely out of their control. Go nuts with this feature.

13. What is an Ignore list?

If you’re unsure, ask and watch how many you all of a sudden appear on.

14. What is a buddy list?

It’s a list that aids in those crazy PM orgies we have when it gets slow.

15. Can I add a standard signature to my posts?

Sure… take a permanent marker and at the bottom of one of your posts, write on your monitor your signature. Repeat as needed.

16. Are there any censor features?

******* **** ******* *********** *** ***** * ****** ****** ******** **** ****** *** ****** ** ** **** **** ****** ***** *** *****.

17. What do I do if I lost my login ID and/or password?

Ask for it in the "I’m a dumbshit who can’t remember my own name" forum. We’ll respond accordingly.

{COURTNEY LOVE was the 2nd gunman}

18. Can I be notified by email if someone responds to my topic?

Why? I mean really? All joking about the FAQ aside, why the hell would anyone want this? You know how full my email box would be?

19. What are today’s topics?

I’m sure there’s something J. Mascis related somewhere…

20. Can I search private forums?

Sure… those 3 posts you’ve posted TOTALLY give you access.

Section B – Site Specific

1. Can I post porn?

Yes, we love porn. Post it. Then, save us some time and PM Jeremiah your IP address.

2. Who is J. Mascis?

Why the hell are you here?

3. Can I post about the Smashing Pumpkins?

I wouldn’t suggest it.

4. Is Mattman gay?

I have it on good authority that he is not.

5. Can I make up a humourous alterego?

Sure.

6. Can I make up a humourous alterego named after a member of Jeremiah’s family?

Once again, wouldn’t suggest it.

7. Who is Jeremiah by the way?

J(eremiah)… J(aron)… J(. Mascis)… coincidence? No… just too much of a similarity…

8. What’s your favorite Dino album?

Oh my God! This SOOOOOO needed to be asked again.

9. Who the fuck is this ELJ and why doesn’t someone ban him?

He’s an annoying guy, and damned if I know.

10. What football team is better: Bears or Lions?

Lions, fool.

11. Isn’t the Simpsons the shit?

Damn straight.

12. Is it a sine from Bolly!?!

[Oops… sorry, worng site’s FAQ].

13. Can someone help me get in the FTP sites?

Try seeing if the 52 people who’ve asked before you had the same problem.

15. Why is there no question 14?

[img]images/smiles/converted/rolleyes.gif[/img] You OBVIOUSLY aren’t 733+…

16. The Open Forum stinks. Everyone talks about dumb shit in there.

Sorry, that was not in the form of a question.

17. Seriously, isn’t their anything we can do about ELJ and Antipop?

No… go away.

18. Does anyone reaalize that posting [img]images/smiles/converted/biggrin.gif[/img] at the end of every post is obnoxious?

Yes, yes, I do.

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So, Jeremiah, whataya think? Come on everyone, make additions.

[Author]

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