Freakscene Singles Report Here!

[everyonelovesjaron]

*theme music plays:

Match maker, match maker make me a match, make me a something and make them a catch*

FreakScene BBS Singles, fill out the following survey and I will match you up with another Dino/J. fan. Be advised: you will not be matched up with me since I don’t go for these internet relationships since only creeps and weirdos try them anyway and they never work out.

Not wanting to oversell this proposal, and without further adu…

1) First Name:
2) Gender:
c) Height:
4) Weight:
6) Divorced/Single/Willing to cheat on spouse:
7) Do you like X-Files:
8) Which is sexier; Mascis or Al Gore:
8a) If Gore, is it because he’s known for being stiff:
8b)If yes and gender male, then what sexuality are you:
9) If gay, please stop filling this out.
10) Favorite alphanumerical character:
11) Mouse pad or trackball color:
12) Are you smart:
13) Favorite smilie:
14) What are your thoughts on War and Peace:
15) Favorite J. Song:
16) What musical featured the song I started with:
17) Shoe size:
18) What do you smell like:
19) What does your ideal partner smell like:
20) What do you SPELL like:
21) Favorite tie color:
22) Pentium 4 or AMD Athlon:
23) Describe your hair:
24) Favorite Pokemon:
25) Use this section to mock the matchmaker:

Once again, not to oversell this, but these 25 or so questions will have you with the man/woman/gerbil of your dreams within 24 hours of filling it out. Bonjour.

[everyonelovesjaron]

Tony, my computer found a perfect brown haired gerbil for you in Austin, Texas.

Post your mailing address and what time there is no one at your house and where you store an extra key and I’ll send it right out to you.

[everyonelovesjaron]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by deepsludge:
<STRONG>I won’t be needing any condoms with that gerbil thank you </STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You’re one sick son of a bitch, tony… [img]images/smiles/converted/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/converted/wink.gif[/img]

[FlyingCloud]

Hey ELJ, what about free entry for ladies? I mean, without lengthy questionnaire ??? [img]images/smiles/converted/wavey.gif[/img]

[everyonelovesjaron]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Flying Cloud:
<STRONG>Hey ELJ, what about free entry for ladies? I mean, without lengthy questionnaire ??? [img]images/smiles/converted/wavey.gif[/img]</STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Um, sure, whatever you want… it won’t give my magical dating computer much to match you dateless losers up with, but OK…

[img]images/smiles/converted/wink.gif[/img]

[everyonelovesjaron]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by deepsludge:
<STRONG>

I second that emotion . [img]images/smiles/converted/biggrin.gif[/img] , though I prefer the term disorder .</STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

LOL [img]images/smiles/converted/lol.gif[/img]

[FlyingCloud]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by ELJ:
<STRONG>

Um, sure, whatever you want… it won’t give my magical dating computer much to match you dateless losers up with, but OK…

[img]images/smiles/converted/wink.gif[/img]</STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmmmm, as long as they’re looking good … not like this: [img]images/smiles/converted/furiousgeorge.gif[/img]

Another thing: I can’t hear the theme music in this topic. What I’m doing wrong?

[img]images/smiles/converted/biggrinbounce.gif[/img]

[everyonelovesjaron]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Flying Cloud:
<STRONG>

Another thing: I can’t hear the theme music in this topic. What I’m doing wrong?

[img]images/smiles/converted/biggrinbounce.gif[/img]</STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

LOL… I think that’s a geeky tech chat forum question. Post it over there and I’ll help you fix your soundcard.

[rosa]

I’m only filling this out because I’m jetlagged and bored…and mildly amused:

1) First Name: tba
2) Gender: all woman, baby
c) Height: just under 5’5"
4) Weight: 122
6) Divorced/Single/Willing to cheat on spouse: n/a
7) Do you like X-Files: sometimes
8) Which is sexier; Mascis or Al Gore: Well, J is more talented & interesting, but Al Gore has pointy eyebrows…and I am ALL about guys with pointy eyebrows
8a) If Gore, is it because he’s known for being stiff: Is a block of wood exciting?
8b)If yes and gender male, then what sexuality are you: excuse me?
9) If gay, please stop filling this out. A little homophobic, are we?
10) Favorite alphanumerical character: huh?
11) Mouse pad or trackball color: er, um,
12) Are you smart: have been told by men that it intimidates them
13) Favorite smilie: the smooshy smiley face
14) What are your thoughts on War and Peace: brings back bad high school memories
15) Favorite J. Song: can’t choose
16) What musical featured the song I started with: well now, Tony already gave it away
17) Shoe size: 6.5
18) What do you smell like: a weird blend of body products
19) What does your ideal partner smell like: a campfire
20) What do you SPELL like: a grammar teacher
21) Favorite tie color: who’s wearing the tie?
22) Pentium 4 or AMD Athlon: no idea
23) Describe your hair: abundant
24) Favorite Pokemon: prefer Teletubbies
25) Use this section to mock the matchmaker: I think the matchmaker does a pretty good job of that all by himself [img]images/smiles/converted/wink.gif[/img]

‘night
Rosa

<FONT>[ August 23, 2001 01:00 AM: Message mutated 1 time, lastly by rosa ]</font>

[everyonelovesjaron]

Dear Rosa,

Our supercomputers have amtched you up with the Giraffe of your dreams at the Pheonix zoo. His name is "Geoffery." I hope you’re very happy together.

[thinks to self: I give it a month…]

[Mattman]

Well, I usually make it my policy not to feed Jaron’s mad schemes, but I’m feeling saucy today… [img]images/smiles/converted/rolleyes.gif[/img]

1) First Name: This question is redundant. My name’s obviously Mattman.
2) Gender: Male, possibly cloned.
c) Height: 5′ 8"
4) Weight: 165
6) Divorced/Single/Willing to cheat on spouse: Single
7) Do you like X-Files: It’s alright. Wrong about a lot of stuff though.
8) Which is sexier; Mascis or Al Gore: Let’s just say that I admire J for his talent. No love for Gore or his pointy eyebrows. [img]images/smiles/converted/wink.gif[/img]
8a) If Gore, is it because he’s known for being stiff: He’s an android, an older model at that.
8b)If yes and gender male, then what sexuality are you: Rethink the wording of this question…
9) If gay, please stop filling this out. Me thinks you’ve been hangin’ around Antipop way too much.
10) Favorite alphanumerical character: ALT + F4, go ahead, try it… [img]images/smiles/converted/evil.gif[/img]
11) Mouse pad or trackball color: Don’t use a mouse pad.
12) Are you smart: I believe the word ‘brainiac’ has been associated w/ me.
13) Favorite smilie: [img]images/smiles/converted/robot.gif[/img]
14) What are your thoughts on War and Peace: Its a book…
15) Favorite J. Song: All of ’em
16) What musical featured the song I started with: I’d tell you, but I’d be accused of cheating off deepsludge’s test.
17) Shoe size: The appropriate size to fit on my foot. [img]images/smiles/converted/tongue.gif[/img]
18) What do you smell like: Me.
19) What does your ideal partner smell like: Her.
20) What do you SPELL like: I spel gud.
21) Favorite tie color: Well, the blue ones from the first Starwars were alright, but I think I like the grey ones in Return of the Jedi better.
22) Pentium 4 or AMD Athlon: Athlon’s are superior.
23) Describe your hair: Gravity defiant.
24) Favorite Pokemon: Well, Bulbasaur meat tastes the best, but it’s a bit tough.
25) Use this section to mock the matchmaker: I’ve done that enough in other threads already. This time, you get a break… [img]images/smiles/converted/cool.gif[/img]

Well, enough of this waste of time. I’ve got a wall that needs staring at… [img]images/smiles/converted/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[everyonelovesjaron]

Dear Mattman,

Our supercomputers have found no suitable match – so far. Wait until more entrees are entered, and I’m sure we’ll find you something.

Note: we found that if your gender is changed to female by mistake, yet all other information kept the same, odds are you should own upwards of 35 cats.

Take that for what you may.

[everyonelovesjaron]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by deepsludge:
<STRONG>hehe now he’s funny too…I’m not gonna say it , just type it….Is this what you’re looking for J . Face it .

How many entries , mean I’m not gonna have to go buy a gerbil now am I ?

</STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sorry, tony, but I could not figure out what you were trying to say here. I mean, literally, I don’t think those even constitute logical sentences.

[malcom]

Can’t see why I’m responding, but. . .

1) First Name: While I’m online, MaLCoM
2) Gender:male
c) Height: 5′ 10" or so
4) Weight: 160 or so
6) Divorced/Single/Willing to cheat on spouse: Perpetually single
7) Do you like X-Files: Not especially
8) Which is sexier; Mascis or Al Gore: Johnny Greenwood of Radiohead
8a) If Gore, is it because he’s known for being stiff:
8b)If yes and gender male, then what sexuality are you: Straight
9) If gay, please stop filling this out. don’t be an asshole man
10) Favorite alphanumerical character:hmmm. . . probably (())
11) Mouse pad or trackball color:kinda greenish
12) Are you smart:not especially
13) Favorite smilie: [img]images/smiles/converted/eek.gif[/img]
14) What are your thoughts on War and Peace: never cared to read it
15) Favorite J. Song: Don’t have one
16) What musical featured the song I started with:dunno
17) Shoe size:10 male
18) What do you smell like:me
19) What does your ideal partner smell like:good
20) What do you SPELL like:bAdd
21) Favorite tie color:don’t like ties
22) Pentium 4 or AMD Athlon:what???
23) Describe your hair:Brown and curly when long
24) Favorite Pokemon:tinky winky
25) Use this section to mock the matchmaker: Homophobic asshole

[everyonelovesjaron]

Um…. Malcolm, meet Matt; Matt, meet Malcolm…

My work here is done.

(Theme to "Love Boat" starts playing)

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