Drunk driving BAD.
Malky, do you feel you have to do this stuff to win/keep friends?
Let me clue you in on two things. First, girls are attracted to guys who are individuals, not followers. So maybe you could forego the gratuitous substance abuse, and try to prove to these girls how smart and creative you are before you go trying to cop a feel.
Second, friendships that are glued together with pot and alcohol rarely evolve into anything but more pot and alcohol. I hope you don’t feel so obligated to fit in that you make yourself sick and sad.
‘College life’ is a myth because college itself is completely insular and isolated from the rest of society. You have pre-paid housing, a meal plan, on-campus supply stores, and a bunch of teenagers living together in lockdown. College does everything for the student short of wiping his ass, and I found it a particularly difficult adjustment to make, especially since I took a year off after high school first. It was so tidy that it was suffocating, and my fellow students were a bunch of spoiled brats who spent all their parents’ money on pot. My roommate was one of these people, and she was constantly tagging along with the popular kids and selling herself short just to keep company. It was actually really sad.
I fought really hard to carve out my own little niche, even though it was difficult. I couldn’t bring myself to get into the party scene because in my heart I knew it held absolutely nothing for me. I liked more intimate, one-on-one friendships; more conversation; more sophisticated rebellion. I didn’t compromise my interests or my habits, and even though I didn’t make a plethora of friends I did make two very close ones with whom I’m still in touch.
I’m not trying to lecture you, or tell you what to do. Some people need to ‘experiment’, or whatever, when they go to college. It’s really interesting to examine the different ways that people act out once they leave the nest. But ultimately, I do think that if you go with your heart you will feel much, much better in the long run.
I consider you a friend and I don’t like to see my friends self-destruct. And I’m leaving this post because you seem like you had a miserable time, and I feel bad about that.
Just remember that the best artists have always been the ones who didn’t compromise. Even if it costs them popularity as children, they are the ones who go on to shape our culture.
So there, a little nugget of Rosa wisdom.
Good luck, & take care,