Home Forums General Discussions Open Topic The Malcom Report 1/20. Or: my fucked up social life Re: The Malcom Report 1/20. Or: my fucked up social life



Everyone here is too dagnamed nice. Better to regret something you have done rather than not. Believe me, 19 is a perfectly acceptable age to play around, and find out what you want. Again, better to make mistakes at 19, than end up living with someone for years and wonder how to get out of that (sleeping with sisters and mums is the most direct route). It’s nice to have a conscience though Malky, but don’t sweat it too bad – just tell her that you ain’t up for anything too serious, and obviously don’t go round again, especially after you’ve been boozin. Alternatively:

1. tell her you’re gay.
2. tell her you are a mentalist, and have a "fake" episode in front of her.
3. go round wearing dirty pants (underwear, not trousers). Chicks don’t dig that kinda stuff (in my experience – from what people have told me, not through wearing dirty pants myself).
4. sleep with her mum and sister.
5. introduce her to your cuter, more fiscally sound elder brother.
6. wet yourself in front of her.

Hope these helped – I have used all (except for number 3) to great advantage in the past.

Best wishes.