Axl Rose vs. Kurt Cobain….Kurt whips out a shotgun and blows Axls head off……Axls body runs around trying to kill Kurt, Slash comes down out of the rafters with an old 80s pointy guitar and impales Axls body.
J Mascis vs. Kurt…they stare each other down for 5 hours, walk to middle of the ring, and get into a mumble contest…..then walk off.
finally, Superman vs. Shuperman!! The match weve all been waiting for. Fighting goes on for a long time before Superman asks if Shuperman is just, "happy to see him" and Shuperman whips out a big ball of cryptonite and makes Superman eat it. Superman……..twitching in the corner needs to be finished off. J and Kurt come back and J sets his amps right next to Superman and we all play a very loud blistering set…everyone in room is dead, other than the true J/Kurt/Shuperman fans, who got this letter and remembered to bring earplugs and an oxygen tank…..thanks, Mgt.