Re: Cobra Verde tour dates with J announced

[everyonelovesjaron]

This just in:

AP – Khandibar, Afghanistan – Violence erupted last night at J. Mascis’ preformance at the sold-out Beheadings and Soccer Field in Khandibar when a female audience member had the audacity to remove her bee-suit-esque head covering during an extended guitar solo in The Wagon. US opposition leaders already had been thrown into a tizzy over Mascis’ clever reworking of tradiotinal Jamacian hit "Come Mr. Tallyman," in which Mascis sang, "Come Mr. Taliban, Turn Over Bin Laden" during a jam out at the end of Freak Scene.

Opposition leaders beheaded the young fan right there and then, as one young Afghanistani said, "It was like 1998 all over again! People were being beheaded all over the place for all sort of Koran related offenses." Some place partial responsibility on J. Mascis for continuing along with the next song on the setlist – Start Choppin’. Mr. Mascis could not be reached for comment, but his publicist has reported he will play his next two scheduled dates at Cairo Dome in Egypt, complete with his planned cover of Bangles’ hit Walk Like An Egyptian.